It's a Jungle out There

If they ever make the mistake of using us a Nielsen family, rankings for the Hallmark Channel are going to suddenly skyrocket and Diagnosis Murder, Columbo, and Murder, She Wrote will suddenly be top programs (again?).

My husband is building a massive DVR library of these shows. (Isn't there something very ironic about a guy in his thirties using digital television to record shows where the modem is introduced in season five as emerging technology.)

The point here is that my husband LOVES to watch people with keen powers of observation solve crime. I mean, the guy schedules his life around Monk.

Soooooo. Today my husband came face to face with crime when my in-laws were burglarized in the middle of the day. Arriving first on the scene, he channeled his inner Monk, he summoned his best Dick Van Dyke powers of observation, and then like J.B. Fletcher on deadline he doggedly pursued all leads however far-fetched....

No, actually, he ran in the house to borrow a loaf of bread, noticed that the door was open but didn't think another thing of it. Based on the timeline the police have compiled and the time my father-in-law left for an errand, my husband probably arrived moments after the robbery and DIDN'T NOTICE A THING. He didn't even notice that the TV in the kitchen was stolen.

The important thing is that no one was injured and no major damage was done in the house. But as our good friend John pointed out, Dick Van Dyke would be so disappointed.